NURSING HOME VISIT, FEBRUARY 2013

NURSING HOME VISIT, FEBRUARY 2013

My father was to be moved from his nursing home, Plaza Del Rio, to a new group home, and I was going to Sun City to smooth the transition. As it turned out, the group home (Elsie's House) was not certified in time, however I was able to accomplish a few things that were necessary. I got him to sign a few tax documents, return his 'emergency home equipment', locate his 'drivers license', return his cable TV equipment, give him some clothing, and check his house for rodent infestation. The following are the highlights of this trip-

Monday 2-6-13 DAY ONE

I got out of bed at 630am. Packed the laptop and camera stuff and sat on the Internet in the living room. Put the canned cat food in the filters.
-On the road at 903am.
-Stopped for a rest break when I crossed the river to Missouri
-I missed the exit 236, and got off too early at exit 238. It seemed to be the airport exit (it was), but there were others.
-Did an illegal "U" turn to go back. Completely lost, and stopped at a gas station for directions. A young girl was very helpful, and I made it to the long term lot that I needed.

SKYPARK AIRPORT PARKING   I am located way in the back in Lot 'L' near pick up booth #3
-The boarding pass came in handy, and I arrived at the proper gate by 1130am. I couldn't believe I made it.

EMAIL TO JANNY 846pm Phoenix Time

Hey,
    I'm in for the night, and it has been an adventure. I hit the highway right at 9am sharp, and didn't have any problems until I arrived at the intersection near Lambert Field that you said would be a problem. I took Exit 238 instead of continuing on to Exit 236. 238 has a big sign for the airport, so I'm sure that causes problems on a daily basis. It didn't cost me too much time, and I found the Skypark place with no problem, and took the bus to the terminal with no further drama. The boarding pass was a big help, and I'm sure that saved some time and aggravation, and I waited for about an hour for departure.
     The flight was completely booked, and I had to take a middle seat, but it wasn't that bad, but pretty close.
     And a trip to Phoenix without a hassle at the car rental place is no fun at all. We arrived early and I quickly got in line at Sixt, waited for almost thirty minutes to have them tell me that they were completely out of cars. They gave me the same price at a competitor, but I had to stand in line at another counter for twenty minutes. I got a Volkswagen Jetta, and it is an upgrade. All of this wasted time got me out on Route 10 at 4pm, right at the height of the rush hour. I was going 20 mph for almost 20 miles. But once I hit 101 North, things loosened up.
    I went to the wrong hotel. I thought I was staying at the place that shares the parking lot with The Country Buffet, but actually it is down the street. I think that this is the place that I stayed with you and the boys several years ago. I have a fridge and microwave, and I then headed to Walmart for supplies. I hope to eat most of my meals in the room.
   I told him yesterday that I thought I would be in to see him at 7pm, but I couldn't be sure, and I said there might be a two hour window on either side, but I actually was shaking his hand at 650pm. I almost didn't recognize him, his beard is longer than mine. It's no longer a goatee, and he looks like Father Christmas. His helper got off duty at 7pm, so I chatted very briefly with her. She does a twelve hour shift, and I didn't bring it up with her, but I thought that was going to be cut.
   He is quite a handful, and he's pretty demanding and constantly ringing the bell for the nurses, but he doesn't even realize that he does it. They showed up a couple of times while I was with him and I didn't see how he had tripped the alert button. They seem to take it in stride, but he is no longer reasonable (if he ever really was).
   After the angel left he brought up the subject of signatures, so I had him sign both documents. And, I told him that I would be meeting with someone tomorrow to give back his emergency alert buttons, and that I would be returning his cable TV equipment. It was like he understood perfectly what I was saying, but he didn't seem to feel that it had anything to do with him. I thought that once I brought up the subject of his house, he would pepper me with questions about it, but it doesn't seem to be relevant to him at all.
   Tomorrow I plan to go for a workout, briefly stop in and see him, and then head over to meet the woman at his house at 2pm. I'll try to get things going over there, collect the cable TV stuff, and then come back and see him in the late afternoon.
    I'll be calling Lannie sometime tomorrow and arrange a meeting to see the group home. He brought that up briefly, and he seemed to lean toward staying at Del Rio, but when I told him about the facilities at Lannie's house he immediately thought that would even be a better idea. But, reason is no longer his strong suit (if it ever was). When I arrived at his bedside he made a big deal that we turn the TV on IMMEDIATELY. I thought he had a show that he normally watched at that time, but he put on a Spanish language soap opera. I asked him why he would want to see that if he couldn't understand the language, and he just laughed and laughed.
   Tomorrow when I see him I will take the laptop, and I hope to pull up Facebook and have him look at Jon/Whitney/Jamie/and your Facebook pages. The nurses said that the facility has WiFi, but I would have to speak with a 'day person' about the codes.
    Well, time to do some relaxing, and the important letter will be in the mail tomorrow. The clerk at the front desk gave me a stamp, but she wasn't sure if it was current, and I think I will go to the UPS Office which is just down the street, and make sure that everything is kosher. Nobody uses stamps any more, and every time you find the need to use one, they are so old, that they no longer work. And, this tax stuff is too important to have it floating around. Today the news broke that beginning in August there will no longer be Saturday delivery, and that was the subject of ALL the talk radio shows.  Nobody seemed to have a reason to continue to deliver on Saturday, but I can.......NETFLIX. Maybe someday all of the Netflix catalog will be 'streamed' and we will no longer need any of the discs sent.
    seeya....kw  And, I hope you are enjoying Buddy..

THURSDAY DAY TWO OF THE ADVENTURE
An Exhausting Day!!!
    On the bright side, I have completed just about all of my duties.
     I met with Julie this afternoon, and we located the 'emergency' paraphernalia, and she even disconnected the Cox Cable stuff. I was ready to call Cox because I noticed that the TV in the Arizona Room was also their equipment. When I showed it to her, she said that it was so old she had never even seen a model like it. And, it seems that he has already been charged with not bringing this back. Tomorrow morning I will drop their more current material to their office.
    I called Joe on his cell this afternoon, so much of this is probably old news but I am pasting these emails into my daily journal entries. Just after I left the message for Joe, the phone rang and I thought that it was him calling back, but it was somebody trying to sell a furnace/cooling checkup service. I declined, but it was actually a better deal than what Mike Williams offers in Springfield.
    The tax info is in the mail. That idiotic stamp was actually a 'Forever' stamp and it didn't matter when it was purchased. The guy at the UPS store identified it, and assured me that it would be delivered. It is rumored that there is a US Post Office at 99th and Bell Road, but I think that there are more commercial enterprises at that intersection than in most of Springfield. I never did see it.
    The poison pellets are in good shape, and they don't even look like they have been touched. I had thought that I might replace them, but they appear to be just as tasty as the day that they were bought.
     I located the file on the van, but I couldn't see a title for the vehicle. It appears that this was originally a rental (I seem to recall this fact), and there is a wealth of information in the file. So, that will all be coming back with me.
     I didn't feel the need to mess with the electricity (and water) since I could clearly see all that I needed. I took 33 shots of the contents of the house, but I think 33,000 wouldn't be enough to extract a true impression of the place. That is the first time that I had ever been in the master bedroom, and I think the accommodations at many prisons are more pleasant. I didn't photograph it (and I don't know why), but on his tub he has a half dozen used tooth picks all lined up and ready to re-use!!! Is there a Hefty Bag full of used toilet paper in a closet waiting to be rinsed?
     Frank, the neighbor, was sitting outside on his porch, and I came over and introduced myself. He seems like a great guy, and he parks his van in the driveway at 9818. He mentioned that the people who trimmed the trees also took away all of the fruit and destroyed it. Later, I walked around back, and things look 'ship-shape', and I didn't see any fruit whatsoever, but the neighbors on the other side had oranges straining on their branches.
    This morning I went for a workout, and then visited Plaza Del Rio for about an hour, and then split to his house to meet with Julie. I was there for a couple of hours, and then spent the rest of the day with him until almost 7pm. Dinner in the cafeteria was like something out of a movie. Although everyone assured me that this was highly unusual (I'm sure!),  a woman at an adjacent table knocked off all the dishes of the woman across from her. Some of the ice and broken glass hit the floor near our table, and Mr. Worden was determined to find out who did it, why, and when they would be punished. Laura was able to divert his investigation, but he would have been right in the thick of it had she not been there. The people in that dining room were about the weirdest I have encountered, and it was a very depressing experience. However, 'Our Father' is the happiest, most positive guy in the unit, although he doesn't choose to interact with the others.
    After the meal we went over to see the lamb and the goat at the Montessori school, and he was just wild with happiness.
    When I got back to the motel I called Lannie and I'll be meeting her tomorrow at the group house at 9am. She's going to show me around, and I'll drop off the Cox Cable stuff, and do a workout, and go over to Del Rio for the rest of the day. She is still encountering problems, and he won't be in the group home until next week at the earliest. I actually asked her if she thought some kind of corruption might be involved, but she seemed to soft-pedal that whole issue. In her defense, if she's got the kind of bucks to start this kind of a group home, she can't be all that naive even though she continues to seem like the 'best kindergarten' teacher imaginable.
    So, 9am at the group home, and then I'll go back and give him  the 'hard-sell', and I hope that he won't have many reservations about leaving his Del Rio place.
    PS. I brought my laptop into the facility, and we spent a couple of hours sifting though all of your Facebook photos. He seemed to be thrilled to death, but I don't think he really knew what he was looking at. For the longest time, he thought that 'you' were my mother, and the obvious 'comic faces' on Jamie and Jon's postings he thought were very serious.
     More as it occurs......seeya  kw

WORKOUT FITNESS 1 PEORIA, AZ  UNION HILLS DRIVE

I arrived just after 8am. It's straight north on 83, and then left on Union Hill
45"Run on Tread, most of the run at a 4.3 pace
30"Bike (Jacob's Ladder)
30"Strange Cross An exaggerated up and down movement. Couldn't control forward or backward
30"Old Style Cross
30"Cross
15"Bike
A few of the Nautilus type equipment
Drove to Plaza Del Rio for about a thirty minute visit, and then to 9818 Pineaire to meet with Julie Patton to pick up 'emergency button' stuff, and she also disconnected the Cox Cable stuff.  I took 33 shots of the interior and exterior of the house, and back to Del Rio and I watched him eat dinner. Scary. Left at 7pm, called Lannie to arrange meeting at the group house for 9am Friday morning.

Friday 2-8-13

  I didn't get a good nights sleep Thursday night because I was worried about getting caught in traffic and not being able to meet Lannie at 'Elsie's House' at 9am. This is what she calls the Group Home. Her grandparents ran an 'old folks home' in North Dakota during the 1960's, an this name allows Lannie to honor her family's tradition with the elderly.
   I was up by 6am, had several cups of coffee, and was on Bell heading to 43rd. The house is the fifth one on the right on Paradise Lane. It only took thirty minutes, there was no traffic, and I was almost napping in the car when Lannie arrived at 9 sharp. I took many pictures and we spent almost an hour on a tour of the house and grounds. She plans to keep horses and goats, and she already has a very friendly dog named, Sadie. The house is just beautiful, and I knew I would be pleased, but I was completely blown away. At Del Rio he has been warehoused, and at Elsie's he will be given a chance to grow in his final years. He is one lucky fellow!
   I headed back on Bell, and dropped off the cable equipment at Cox near 61st and Bell. I was lucky that I was coming East because the office was clearly visible, and had I been coming from the other direction I might not have seen it. There was also a post office and a used book store near this corner. However, at some of these intersections there are so many businesses that it is absolutely dizzying, and the one you want is often lost in the array.
   I was working out at Fitness One just after 11am. Tired, so it was not much of a workout. 30"Cross. 30"Old style Cross. 30"Bike(Jacob's Ladder). 45"Walk on Tread ending at 3.8 pace. 30"Cross. A few of the Nautilus type machines. I remembered to take a towel, and I ate an orange from the group home in the parking lot after working out.
   Got to Del Rio at 3pm, and all he wanted to talk about was the call from Janny that began right at 4pm. Joe was on the phone, and I talked with them for several minutes. He wanted me to get his driver's license because he has found his name on a couple of national registers that say he has money waiting to be claimed. And, I wanted to check his bedroom and bring him some clothes. I suffered through another dining experience, and I sampled a half cup of broccoli/cheese soup and a cookie. Very tasty.
   I left for Pineaire about 615pm, and I wanted to get there when there was some daylight because I didn't want to mess with the power. Joe also wanted me to try to find the title to his van, and he thought that it would be in the file cabinet in the study. I was able to part the curtains, and once I saw how packed those drawers were, I gave up. You could devote a lifetime to sifting through all of that data. He does not have a drivers license, but what is called an 'Arizona ID Card'. Who knows how long he has been driving without a license. This card had expired in 2010. I called the Brandenburgs telling him that he has no license and I asked it this card would do. It does. Talked for ten or fifteen minutes, and then I grabbed a bunch of shirts, socks, and tees. I even found a nylon bag, still in the original wrapping for the early 90's that I grabbed and used to carry the clothes. No sweatpants, so I plan to pick some up at Walmart today (Saturday).
   Back in the room at 7pm for computer and a six.

Sa 2-9-13
Up at 630am and well rested. Coffee Bagels Computer and to Fitness One by 9am. 45" Run on Tread Pace 4.5! 30"Bike(Jacob's Ladder) 30" New Odd Cross. 30"Cross. 30"Old Style Cross. Some of the Nautilus/15reps.
Stopped at the local Walmart for a pair of sweatpants with pockets. On sale for about seven bucks. And then over to Del Rio, and the email to The Brandenburgs sums up the rest of the day.

Email to Janny Saturday 2-9-13

Hello,
     Today when I arrived at Del Rio Lannie was there with many documents for me to read, and some that  required my signature. She is meeting with the state agency on Monday morning at 930am, and she hopes to wrap things up, although she's been 'wrapping' since the end of November. As 'son of resident' I could authorize the agency to view his medical files and attest that we had been made aware of the rules governing Assisted Living. Lannie was going to fax these forty odd pages to Joe, but she felt that it would be quicker to have me sign, and I did. She made copies for you, and basically it is a 31 page Resident Agreement statement and a five page overview which I will bring home for you. Also, she included a service plan evaluation report for the agency which delineates the specific plan that she has in mind for Natty which is a description of his current condition, and what her staff plans to do to facilitate his improvement. It was my understanding that this paperwork allows the state to verify that he meets the qualifications for Assisted Living, and that everyone knows what this entails and how much it will cost. Lannie assured me that you are aware of these key points but she needs official proof for the state people, and now you will have the details. If the 'barred window problem' is no longer an issue, she wants to be able to get him into Elsie's House pronto.
     I also made 3 copies of his Arizona Identification Card. It's readable, but in black and white, and I think that you can make OK copies if needed.
     I spent about an hour on the laptop showing Lannie, Laura, and him the photos of Elsie's House and photos of the interior of my condo. I had forgotten that the condo photos were on the laptop, but he had never seen the interior of my place and I wish that I could have taken some exterior shots to show him. Lannie saw the movie poster for 'The Savages' that I have hanging downstairs, and I showed her how to check out films on Netflix and then order them at Netflix. That film is about a brother and sister who must deal with putting their father in assisted care, and I guaranteed her that she would love the film. She has Netflix, but didn't really seem to understand how it works. She also wanted to see the HBO film GAME CHANGE which is about the political career of Sarah Palin, but she thought she could only watch it if she subscribed to HBO. I located it on Netflix, and I put it in my 'q' and showed her how she could request it too. Julianne Moore plays Palin, and it should be pretty good, but, of course, there is a 'long wait'.
    Then, Lannie left and I spent about an hour talking with Laura while he napped until the 430pm visit to the cafeteria.
     And then, another indelible and unforgettable dining experience. Tonight the little old ladies at the next table were banging on their water glasses with silverware and calling out,'Waitress, Waitress...' Well, 'our father' sees the waitstaff as 'ushers', and he was yelling out, 'Usher, I want hot chocolate...Right Now'!  It was the most insane, and funniest thing I have seen in a long time. And, a woman at the next table saw that I was not eating (I didn't want anything), and she had an extra hot dog sent to her table, and then she had Laura bring it over to me.  She's a pretty surly individual (the same woman that was watching the rehab commercial last night and thought that I might have a connection to the place), and Laura wasn't sure why she has singled me out..... I don't know either, and I'm glad I'll be heading out soon. It reminds me of The Replacements song, 'Here Comes A Regular'.
    And, I brought over the shirts, socks, and tees, and everyone was thrilled with his new wardrobe. Laura marked everything with his name and hung it in his closet. I had to buy a pair of  sweat pants (with pockets, or he will throw a tantrum), and he should be good for the foreseeable future. And, there are still enough brand new clothes in his bedroom to take him through the next several decades. However, some of the clothes in his closet seem to have been hanging there since the mid 70's, and they are just about ready to    disintegrate.
   Tomorrow will be my last visit with him, and he will have a new helper, Melinda. Laura is off Sunday and Monday so I'll get to witness another Angel's style.
     More as it occurs....seeya  kw

When I left the nursing home I went back to Pineaire to drop off his ID card, and I picked up three tee shirts for myself. I'll just throw out the old ones that I brought and replace these ancient, yet serviceable ones into my collection.
Sipping suds and writing it up...... Sunday Feb 10, 2013 It's THE YEAR OF THE SNAKE CHINESE NEW YEAR

  Basically the same workout as yesterday, although today I arrived later because I had the boarding pass printed at 840am at the desk at Arrowhead Ramada.
45"Run on Tread to 4.5 pace. 30"Bike (Jacob's Ladder). 30"Cross. 30"Old Style Cross. 30"Cross. Since it was Sunday the five channel selections was dismal, so I read an US Magazine which was equally dismal.
  When I left Fitness One I headed West on Union Hills to 61st and Bell to get TENDER IS THE NIGHT at Joe's Used Books and Music. This place was in the same location as Cox Cable. There was even a Post Office in the book store. $3.65 paperback.
  East on Bell Road to 101 South to Thunderbird and left at 94h to Plaza Del Rio by 1pm

Email to Janny, 745pm

Hey,
     I'm actually semi-homesick, but it's mostly missing my 'real life'.
     This is like attending school or having a job, and it is a bit more structured than I am used to. I realize that this is a major emotional event in his life, however his short term memory is nearly nonexistent and I don't think anyone can judge how much he has really retained of our encounter. Yet, I'll bet his personal impression is "One big Gooey, Happy Blob of Fun and Fuzzy Pleasantness".
    Melinda is an older woman, and she was the first entry on the visitor's list when I signed in at 1pm.  Her penmanship is striking, and when I met her I said that she had the best handwriting on the sheet. I thought that she might have been a retired school teacher, but she's a retired Realtor. Her approach is different than Laura's, but they are both very caring and devoted individuals, and he loves them both. Laura is Hispanic, and I think that she has been around elderly family members all of her life, and she is pretty used to how they act. Melinda seems to have more of a 'professional caregiver' approach which kind of reminds me of his Male African 'Angel', or ....'Abdul-Lite'. However, both Melinda and Laura seem to feel that Abdul was not a good fit for him, and he is mutated into such a ham-fisted Lothario these days, I can see why a male care-giver might not work. Although if he was out and about on his own, I'm sure that some (many) of his mannerisms and general behavior could easily be misconstrued, and he would probably be on some kind of 'Neighborhood Watch List'.
    He would be perfectly content to sit on his bed, with the phone in his hand, and wait until your call arrives five or six hours later. And, he will insist that this is necessary to make sure that the connection will occur. When I got in today at 1pm, he was already gearing up for, 'THE WAIT'. Melinda and I were able to get him to agree to go down to the main lobby, and have a visit. As usual, it was 'Odd, but Nice'.  There was a lit gas fireplace, and a huge TV, but a couple of the residents were watching (hypnotized by) MTV. They were watching something very similar to the TV show JACKASS which is a Reality TV Show featuring dangerous and crude self-injuring stunts. He was the only one in the room to react to some of the more painful situations, but it didn't take his mind fully off of, 'THE WAIT'. Finally, we couldn't contain him any longer, and he demanded that we walk back to his room (him on the walker, and Melinda following with the wheelchair). Near the main-hub, he exploded and started swearing, "God-damn It!!!  We have to get back to the room to make the connection"!  Melinda got right up in his face and said that he is not allowed to take the 'Lord's Name' in vain. This slowed him down at bit, and when we got back to his room (we still had twenty minutes to wait), I told him that he shouldn't be so demanding, and that he shouldn't swear at his Angels. However, he honestly couldn't remember what had happened, and he assured me that he would never swear at his helper and the event that I was talking about absolutely didn't happen. Melinda said that this was really a rare performance, but I doubt it.
   The guy is a prickly handful, and there  is no doubt in my mind about it, but I am convinced that once he gets to 'Elsie's House' he will be in a much better place.
   Consuming the last of my groceries, and gearing up to drop the car in the early morning. I don't mind getting to the Phoenix Airport very early, because the WiFi is Free!!!  At St. Louis, you pay.....I'll call when I get in tomorrow.....seeya..kw

Monday, Feb 11th, 2013

The alarm was set for 428am, and I awoke just a few moments before it went off.
  Started the coffee, but could not get any hot water for the shower, however there was hot water at the sink. Brisk!
  Left the room at 535am, and took a new way to the airport parking. Rt. 101 South to Rt. 10, and then Rt 17/60 Southeast. I drove right to the garage, but missed the dropoff point for Payless. I had to leave the lot, and re-enter, found it, but had to back up quite a bit to find a slot to park. The guy checked the car, and handed me a receipt in less than a minute. Walked upstairs, and caught the bus to the main terminals.
   Went through security with no problems, and proceeded to Gate C-19 and my flight to st. Louis is on-time for departure at 835am. The computer is connected, and the time is 658am.

Email to Janny from Gate 19 at Sky Harbor

I arrived at the airport without incident, and connected the laptop by 7am. I'm at the gate and we are on schedule for an 835am departure.
Last night when I asked for more coffee packets at the front desk, I found out that I was 'pre-paid' and no check-out was necessary. I just left the key cards on the dresser on the way out, and this was a time and hassle saver. I want to remember this on future trips.
I am still compiling my expense account, however this has been a most frugal get-away (this doesn't in the slightest feel like a 'vacation'). Each day began with a three hour workout (free), and then I spent the rest of the time getting a detailed report as to how long before the phone would ring, or exactly what time we must begin the walk down the hall to the cafeteria (also free). He displays an amazing lack of personal connection, and he is more attached to the concept of 'son' rather than any real relationship. He is relentlessly bull-headed, but sees himself as a very kind and mild-mannered fellow.
Well, hope the drive from St. Louis goes as easily as the drive to Sky Harbor. Today the weather is kind of cool and I ran into a few showers right as I got near the car rental drop-off.
They just announced that my flight continues on to Washington DC, and there will be delays due to more snow on the East Coast.
I can't wait to get back to my Movie/Book/Buddy Groove.....seeya...kw

FINAL ENTRY at 7pm Monday evening

  I got to Sky Harbor without any problems until I actually entered the car rental return garage. I went passed PAYLESS, and had to exit, and then return, but no big deal.
  At 7am I was at my gate, and passed the time on the laptop Wrote an email to Janny
  We were in the air at 9am local time, and sunny skies and only in the air for about two hours and fifteen minutes. Spent the time reading TENDER IS THE NIGHT.
  A bit of confusion when I got to St. Louis. The van from SKYPARK drove passed twice, and one of the other drivers said that I would have to call. He must have been stoned, because this was not the case.
  Rode back to the lot with a bunch of terminal employees. I guess this is where they park.
  $39.00 and a free bottle of water. And, it was a snap getting back to Springfield. Out to Rt.70 East, then Rt. 170 North, and Rt.270 East to the Double Nickel.
  Stopped for $23.00 of gas and a twelve had the gas station near my house, and I was greeting Buddy at 3pm sharp.
  Called Janny to tell her that I had arrived, and talked for about fifteen minutes. Then, to Club West for a short workout. One Hour Cross. Full Nautilus/l5reps. One Hour Old Style Cross. Whirlpool. Home to pick one of the four films waiting for me......